If you’ve ever looked up at the night sky and blamed the universe for your relationship problems, well, you might not have been far off. According to astrologers, it seems there often is a connection between your zodiac sign and relationship problems. So go ahead and blame away.
Then, take a moment to delve deeper into how, exactly, your sign might be spelling trouble for your dating life. “This knowledge can really help someone who is absolutely bewildered [by] why things don’t work out for them in relationships,” says author and astrologer Lisa Allen, MH, in an email to Bustle.
Below, Allen details some of the most common issues for each Sun/Rising sign. (It’s kind of spookily spot on for me.) But keep in mind that some characteristics from other signs may seem a bit familiar as well. “For instance, you can be a Sun Sign Gemini, but have your Moon in Cancer, Mercury in Taurus, Venus in Leo, Mars in Sagittarius, Jupiter in Virgo, Saturn in Capricorn — and have an Aquarius rising,” Allen says. To get the most accurate depiction, she suggests figuring out your astrological birth chart, which can be even more eye-opening. But as long as your know your sign, you can still get some pretty good info. Read on for some more insight into your most common relationship problems.
Aries (March 20-April 19)
Aries are wildly romantic, and that’s a good thing. But, as Allen tells me, you guys are also always in such a hurry and thus hardly ever think before you act. “This can … cause your partner unnecessary yet deep pain, and breakups happen because you may have jumped the gun and you can’t take it back once it is done,” she says. Keep being your passionate self, but do try to think about the impact your actions will have on your partner. Doing so will prevent a lot of regret, while also saving you both the agony of breakup after breakup.
Taurus (April 19-May 20)
If you’re a Taurus, then you’re likely quite the sensual and tactile person. But delving too deeply into physical experiences means it’s hard for you to see another person’s viewpoint, Allen tells me. “If relationships fall short over and over for the same reason, it is very likely your partner has been trying to get you to see things the way they see them,” she says. Sound familiar? If so, start focusing on seeing the world through a different lens. Your partner will thank you.
Gemini (May 20-June 20)
Geminis are fun. You guys are the life of the party, and are always chatting people up. “You entertain effortlessly and love to be the first to know ideas when they are new and fresh,” Allen says. But this endearing quality also gets you in trouble, as it means you get bored with people easily. You crave a relationship, but only if your partner is fun and creative, while also being stable and secure — a combo you believe is difficult to find. As a result, Allen tells me Geminis either quickly move on or end up with two partners who possess these opposite qualities. (Hey, whatever works?)
Cancer (June 20-July 22)
Of all the signs, Cancers are the most capable of deep and romantic love. This is good news for your partner. But what’s not so great is your intense need for security. “This is not a problem on its own, but clinging, controlling behavior is not the way to keep a partner in your life,” Allen warns. If you go down this road, your SO will likely feel smothered. Working on developing security within yourself can help, as can being very clear about your needs. As Allen says, “… this can leave room for you to trust, and then they can have room to love you deeply in return.”
Leo (July 22-August 22)
Leos are warm and uplifting to be around, which means people are constantly lining up to revel in your vibrant ways, Allen tells me. But you tend to push others away by getting hurt way too easily — especially when someone has a different viewpoint from you. This obviously doesn’t bode well for relationships, where you often need to agree to disagree. If this describes you, try to take things less seriously. Easier said than done, of course, but doing so will make for much easier partnerships.
Virgo (August 22-September 22)
Virgos love to solve problems, even though it’s often a thankless job — and one that gets you into trouble. “This under-appreciation in our society can sometimes make you not believe in yourself, and other times turn into a desire to fix other people through critical nitpicking,” Allen says. This can lead to obvious relationship problems, since no one likes to be held under a microscope. If this is so you, Allen suggests providing support to your partner, but only when they want the help.
Libra (September 22-October 23)
As a Libra, you love aesthetics. And that’s incredibly romantic. But, left unchecked, your love life can turn into merely an idea. “In this state, love is the proverbial altar where you worship and casually change the photo when you find an aesthetically better [partner], which the other person painfully sees themselves as being replaceable and that you never even knew them,” Allen says. Libras also have a tendency to forget themselves in a relationship, as you become other-person oriented and thus give your power away. Not always the best combination.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Scorpios are intense. “Everything is 0 percent or 100 percent, [with] not much in between,” Allen says. This black and white thinking doesn’t combine well with your desire to have a loving and deep relationship, mostly because your partner can sense the push and pull. They can also pick up on your distrustful ways, which can send exasperated partners packing. All you can do when things get this out of hand is to let go. “When you do learn to really let go at every level, everything you ever wanted falls into your lap as soon as you ask for it,” Allen says. Heck, it just may be worth a try.
Sagittarius (November 21-December 22)
You are all about freedom — freedom to learn, to travel, and to explore. So you don’t do well with partners who aren’t willing to give you that space, Allen tells me. You’re also incredibly blunt, which you may see as a freedom of expression, but your partner may see as insensitivity and decide to leave if repeated. “You have passion for exploration and a need of space, and if you have those while watching your tongue on occasion, your relationship when you want one will proceed effortlessly,” Allen says.
Capricorn (December 21-January 19)
Capricorns are practical and hardworking. As a result, you tend to attract partners who are a bit dependent — and often a bit of a burden, Allen tells me. “You deserve a contributing partner and wonder how this happened,” she adds. “Asserting your needs, and then enforcing — making sure they are met — are good tactics to just say ‘no’ to those looking for a caregiver before it gets started.”
Aquarius (January 19-Feberuary 18)
You’re a visionary, and that’s a good thing — even if it means having zero clue what you’ll do later on in the day. “That can seem unimportant compared to those big ideas for the future,” Allen says. And yet, despite having your sights set on the distance horizon, you also have a deep need for security right now. Relationships problems can arise from this odd juxtaposition as you try to feel secure whilst also letting your mind wander. “Emotional detachment can make the whole thing feel cold and cut-off as well,” Allen adds. To remedy the situation, try to stay present. You and your partner will feel more secure, and they’ll be more inclined to help you reach your lofty goals. (Win win!)
Pisces (February 18-March 20)
As a Pisces, you are often half present and have off in a dreamworld. This can leave your SO feeling like you aren’t reliable, or that you aren’t listening to what they say, Allen tells me. While you make a great partner (when you want to be), it often takes finding someone who matches well with your soulful, mystical ways. “Once you have a reason to stay on Earth and give some time to your inner world when time allows, you can have a wonderful partnership,” she says.
Knowing what’s up with your sign can be yet another thing that helps explain the strange world that is dating. Plus, it’s just so interesting. So learning more about it certainly can’t hurt.
By CAROLYN STEBER