The One Thing Your Wife Needs but Won’t Tell You



I had a long walk with a dear friend the other night, and we talked a lot about how much we LOVED date nights with our husbands. I told her that Dave and I both feel like we can’t have enough of them these days. Her eyes saddened a bit when she heard my response, and what she said next really struck me.

She said that she wished her husband valued date nights as much as she does.

“He seems to be fine with long periods of time without a date night, but I really need them. I just want to spend time together, because we get so little of it anymore.”

Can you relate, Friend? I know I can.

My friend has a great marriage, and she loves her husband very much. When she talked to me that night, she wasn’t complaining about not having enough date nights. She wasn’t even saying that she was mad at her husband. More than anything, she was expressing her heartfelt need to be pursued by her husband—all these years later, after having babies, and all the crazy ups and downs that life brings us.

She wants to know that her husband still has it for her. She wants to feel wanted, loved, desired and treasured.

And, I do too. All of us do.

So, Husbands, please don’t stop pursuing your wife.  our desire to spend time with her is wind in her sails. You fill up her love tank with every effort you make to constantly pursue her.

This may not look exactly the same in every marriage depending on how the husband and wife give and receive love, but it is worth the effort to keep trying. Rub her feet, plan a trip away, get her that gift she would never buy for herself, and spend time looking into her eyes and telling her specific things you love about her. All these kinds of things will show her that you still adore her.

Don’t hold back. You can’t pursue her too much.

The longer we are married, the more this needs to happen. It’s never too late. So, Husbands, how will you pursue your wife today…and every day?


By Ashley Willis 


Thank you so much for reading! If you like what you have read and want more, you can connect with Ashley on FacebookInstagram and Pinterest.

About the Author: 

Ashley Willis is a wife and mom of four boys who together with her pastor husband, Dave, founded and the “Marriage” app as a way to encourage couples to build stronger marriage. You can follow Ashley’s blog on Patheos where she encourages women in faith, marriage and motherhood.

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