By Dave Willis
A wife’s words have the power to build up her husband or to tear him down. Her words are like a “thermostat” that can set the climate for the marriage. We men aren’t usually as verbal, BUT words are very important to us. We desperately long to hear specific words and phrases from the woman we love.
Ladies, let me encourage you to frequently speak these words and phrases listed below to your husband. It could make a tremendous impact in your marriage. In addition to this list of ten important phrases below, please check out our new books 7 Days to a Stronger Marriage (Husbands Edition & Wives Edition) which outline the 7-Day Marriage Challenge as a way to grow closer to your husband than ever before.
The Ten things every husband wants to hear (in no particular order) are…
1. “I trust your judgment.”
Every man wants to feel respected and trusted by his wife. A vote of confidence in his judgment and decisions is a sign of love and respect to him. Remind him that you trust him. It will mean a lot to him. If trust has been broken and he needs to rebuild it, give him the grace and opportunity to earn your trust again. No marriage can survive without trust.
2. “I appreciate all you do.”
You might take for granted that he already knows how much you appreciate him, but he needs to hear it. The simple phrase, “Thank you” or “I appreciate you so much” will create a surge of adrenaline in his soul. Your gratitude has the power to change his attitude.
3. You whispering anything sexually suggestive in his ear.
If you want to get your husband in a great mood instantly send him a sexy text message or whisper something in his ear to let him know YOU WANT HIM. He thinks about making love to you all the time, and knowing that it’s on your mind too will make his day. Seriously. For more on this, check out our video course on sex and intimacy in marriage (by clicking here).
4. “I got a babysitter for tonight.”
He longs for uninterrupted time with you. Especially in the stressful years of balancing work, marriage and raising kids, he needs to know he’s still a priority to you. Make a date night a regular part of your routine. It could prove to be one of the best investments you’ll ever make in your marriage.
5. “You are my best friend.”
He wants for you to see him as the love of your life but he also wants for you to see him as your best friend. He wants to know you love him, but he also wants to know that you genuinely like him. Communicate how much you enjoy his company.
6. “I believe in you.”
A man can accomplish anything if he believes that his wife believes in him. When you choose to see the best in him it will consistently bring out the best in him. Be his biggest encourager; not his biggest critic. Become a cheerleader of his strengths instead of a critic of his weaknesses.
7. “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
(This only applies when you’ve actually said or done something wrong.)
Whether from actual expectations or not, many men feel that they are expected to be the one to apologize in every situation regardless of whether or not he’s at fault. When only one spouse is doing all the of the apologizing, it creates an unhealthy imbalance in the relationship. Hopefully, your marriage doesn’t have this imbalance of only one spouse doing all the apologizing. For both the husband AND the wife, when you’ve blown it, apologize. It’s the first step towards healing.
8. “You look very handsome today.” or “Wow. You are HOT!”
We’ve often believed the myth that wives often need to be reminded that their husband thinks they’re beautiful, but husbands don’t care about these kinds of compliments. The truth is, your husband wants to know that you find him attractive, strong, capable and desirable. No matter how confident he may be, he needs to hear these words from you. He wants to know that you have never outgrown your crush on him.
9. “I’m so happy!”
Your husband wants YOU to be happy. In many ways, he will base his success as a husband and as a man on how happy he perceives you to be. This one is tricky, because one person can never “make” another person happy, but he wants to do everything in his power to bring happiness to you. When you tell him that you’re happy (and you mean it), it will bring joy to him. Your happiness means more to him than you’ll ever know.
10. “I will ALWAYS love you.”
In our world where love has been redefined as little more than a fickle feeling that comes or goes; your husband wants to be reminded of your lifelong commitment to him. He will find security in knowing that you have no exit strategies and that you’re happily his wife for life. The strength of your commitment will ultimately determine the strength of your marriage.
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